The Mighty, All-Knowing, Mind-Reading Powers of Judge-and-Jury Ted Wells!

Dolphins Truth recently had a chance to examine the entire Ted Wells report, and we came to three important conclusions:

Microsoft Word - TW_COVER.doc
parody Cover of the Actual Report
  1. Richie Incognito and a few other Dolphins teased Jonathan Martin.
  2. Martin did not tell his boss(es) about the teasing.  Instead, he told his mom.
  3. Ted Wells has psychic, mind-reading powers.

Without e.s.p., how else could Ted Wells fill his report with his numerous opinions about who is lying? How else can he claim that someone is credible and someone is not?

How can Ted Wells apparently remember every single Christmas gift he ever bought someone, but when a Dolphins coach can’t remember, then Wells instantly knows he’s a liar?  What incredible powers Wells must have.

Mike Pouncey can’t remember every single word of every locker room conversation?  He must be lying, according to Wells.

After the infamous cafeteria incident that triggered Martin to turn his back on his team, Martin went out a bought a bottle of vodka, but he “…reportedly did not drink any of it” according to the Wells report.  When people buy vodka, it’s usually to drink it.  But when Martin says he didn’t drink it, Ted Wells believes.

When Martin sends a text to Incognito that says, “I will murder your whole f***ing family,” Ted Wells knows it’s just Martin fooling around.  But when Incognito sends similar messages back to Martin, then Richie is a bully.  Imagine having the power to read people’s minds like Wells!   Wow, how does Wells do this?  How does he know?

When the initial, famous Incognito voicemail was made public, Wells reports that Richie claimed the ending said, “’call me back’—indicating that it was a friendly call—but Martin does not recall any such ending to the message, and our copy of the voicemail, which was produced to us by Martin, does not feature Incognito saying that.”

So Ted Wells was handed a piece of evidence by Martin’s team, and Wells automatically thinks it’s legit.  But then Richie hands him a threatening text message, and Wells automatically thinks it’s just Martin being humorous.

The Wells report contains examples of several Dolphins not remembering incidents the way Martin remembers them.  In many of these cases, Wells proclaims that he doesn’t believe these denials.  Is this based on evidence, or a belief?  Mike Pouncey can’t remember every single text message he sent two years ago?  He must be lying about that!  “We do not credit Pouncey’s denials.”

Just like when Ted Wells said that Andrew McDonald was also a victim of the teasing, and then McDonald immediately came out and defended the Dolphins and said Wells’ allegations were not so.

Dolphins Truth has also covered how one-sided the media has been in this whole affair.  The media, especially a lot of the hypocrites at ESPN who seem to deny that teasing occurs in other pro locker rooms, loves to show certain parts of Wells reports but not others.

Can you imagine if Incognito told Wells “Yeah, I bought a bottle of vodka, but I didn’t drink it?”  The media would be all over that.

What about when Martin himself apologized for his actions?  Did the media report that?   “Sorry to be so dramatic, wasn’t exactly thinking straight.”  Martin apologized, but somehow that got lost.

As a matter of fact, we’re still waiting for some people who will confirm Martin’s side of this.  The people closest to Martin dispute him, but some high-priced stranger from New York City comes to town and suddenly has all the answers?

Vernon Davis of all people was the latest to come out and support Richie Incognito.  Will Wells issue an amendment to his report now?

Wells repeatedly comments about how Jon Martin discussed the ongoing teasing.  He told people about it.  He reached out for help.  He wanted it to stop.  That is true.

Martin did indeed reach out for help…but the problem is that he reached out for help to his mommy and daddy.  He did not mention the teasing to his boss.  He didn’t tell his coaches.  He told his mommy and daddy.  Telling your mom about workplace teasing is NOT the same as formally telling your boss.

There are laws and worker-protection rules in place that enable you to tell your boss about any discrepancies you encounter at work.  If you follow those procedures and tell your boss about it, then by law, the boss must take some action.  But when you tell your mommy instead, no action can be taken.  THAT is another aspect that Ted Wells “forgot” to emphasize.

Martin did not tell anyone in authority abut his alleged allegations, so how could anyone (besides his parents) know?

Wells said it is “undisputed” that Turner knew about the teasing, but it IS disputed.  Jon Martin told his mommy about the teasing; he didn’t tell Turner.  How was Turner to know?

 Read the entire report here.


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  1. Perhaps J Martin wouldn’t be so depressed if he was sober. Getting smoked up regularly and boozing should alter the credibility of his account to say the least. Furthermore if both sides said vile hateful things then why is the focus solely on Incognitos actions? Isn’t Martins actions just as bad? Maybe Richie should slam his tray too, then he can cry foul as well. Stay strong Richie. Trust no one .

  2. I saw the report too. I does seem one-sided. I mean, Wells says that Martin engaged in the bad language too…but it’s like Wells forgives Martin for it. Why?

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